25 June 2012
11 June 2012
sacrifice
I was asked to speak in church yesterday, so I thought I'd post a copy of my talk here. Enjoy!
On Memorial Day, I was visiting a ward where the speaker was talking about the sacrifices of our country’s veterans and troops as well as her own seemingly trivial sacrifices. I started thinking about how sacrifice seems to be an idea that evokes negative associations- pain, burden, loss… at first glance, it’s kind of a downer! The world around us is aimed at reducing the sacrifice in our lives- credit cards let us “buy now, pay later”, low-fat cookies let us diet without really having to eat well, and heaven forbid we have to walk more than two blocks to find a Bank of America ATM. I don’t know about you, but my immediate reaction to the idea of sacrifice is that it is something we must do and we try to love. It sounds so much easier and more pleasant to watch Monk, eat pizza, and get massages all the time! However, while the speaker on Memorial Day was elaborating on difficult and painful sacrifices, I realized that sometimes sacrifice is not such a hard thing. So often we sacrifice and we may not even realize we are doing it because fierce love for family or friends makes it easy. Sacrifice in that case is a glorious thing. There is a broad array of types of sacrifice, some more challenging than others, and, unlike tv and pizza, all are essential to our progression and salvation.
Even though some sacrifice comes naturally and easily, sacrifice often is very hard! One of the hardest types of sacrifice, in my experience, is when another person’s sacrifice becomes your own sacrifice, whether you want it or not. I’ve noticed this in my life when my mom decided to start doing foster care for a nonverbal, paraplegic boy named Humberto. He needs help 100% of the time, and since he’s nonverbal, you can’t always tell what he needs. Since I was already living on my own when she took him in, it didn’t have a big effect on me. However, overall, it’s had a huge impact on my family, and I think the biggest impact it’s had on me personally is that my mom doesn’t have much flexibility to go anywhere anytime. Even just going on a quick trip to the store means either bringing Humberto and his equipment along or asking someone to take care of him while she’s gone. It doesn’t sound like a such big deal, but it’s been very frustrating for me at times. It’s a sacrifice my mom chose for herself, but it ended up being a sacrifice my whole family had to make, whether we were still living at home or not.
So, I’ve tried to think about how we can approach sacrifice and make it more joyful, taking away the burden aspect of it. The thing about sacrifice is that it is hard- it’s supposed to be hard. If you aren’t giving something up, you aren’t sacrificing. I think love, as so many popular songs tell us, is the answer, or at least a key part of the answer. Sacrifice is not supposed to be easy, but it’s not supposed to be a burden either. It’s the difference between giving something as a gift as opposed to giving out of obligation. We can turn sacrifice from a duty into a gift of ourselves. By developing our love for others, ourselves, our Savior and our Heavenly Father, we will want to sacrifice. Elder M. Russell Ballard noted, “The degree of our love for the Lord and for our fellowman can be measured by what we are willing to sacrifice for them. Sacrifice is a demonstration of pure love.” To me, when you have love backing up your sacrifices, it makes them exciting and fun, like when you get the perfect Christmas gift for someone, and you can’t wait to see them open it.
However, even if you love someone, sacrifice can be a challenge. I believe there is value in the fake-it-til-you-make-it approach. Although sacrifice is hard, we can get better at it. The important thing is your desire; it’s sufficient to start with simply a desire to sacrifice willingly and joyfully. It’s like Alma’s discourse on faith: let the desire work in you until it gets root... If you nurture it- if you’re trying to develop the desire-, it can take hold and grow, and you’ll see the blessings of sacrifice, but if you neglect it or don’t persevere, you won’t progress and you won’t experience the blessings or gain the testimony of sacrifice. You don’t have to feel guilty if at first you struggle or begrudge trying to sacrifice. However, beware when guilt is your impetus because it makes everything a burden. With guilt as motivation, you’ll end up resenting the feeling it gives you and eventually rejecting the good things you were trying to do. The important thing is your desire; try to shape it and cultivate it so that you can learn to love the sacrifices that you choose to or have to make. Love for God, others, and ourselves lifts the burden of sacrifice and will make it a more pleasant and richer experience. Not only does love make the act of sacrificing easier, but sacrificing for someone increases your love for them, which in turn increases your desire to sacrifice for them, and both sides of it build on each other.
Sacrifice brings many blessing. My sister is coming home from her mission soon, and my mom has struggled to support her on a teacher’s salary. My mom has very much seen the blessings of sacrificing to support a missionary during the last year and a half. This upcoming year, all California teachers are getting a pay cut of about 12% no matter how long they’ve been teaching, and my mom told me she’s worried about losing those blessings of supporting a missionary and still being able to make ends meet and have everything work out temporally. However, what she didn’t realize when she said that is that those blessings don’t pend on having a missionary out; the laws of sacrifice and obedience are at work here, and the blessings of those don’t end when her missionary comes home. Obedience is a sacrifice of the will, and as my mom continues to keep the commandments, she will continue to be blessed. Watching Monk, eating pizza and getting massages all the time sounds great, but I would miss out on the blessings and growth attained through actively sacrificing. Elder Russell M. Nelson taught: “Our highest sense of sacrifice is achieved as we make ourselves more sacred or holy. This we do by our obedience to the commandments of God. Thus, the laws of obedience and sacrifice are indelibly intertwined. … As we comply with these and other commandments, something wonderful happens to us. … We become more sacred and holy—[more] like our Lord!” We can learn so much through sacrifice.
We sacrifice in many ways every day, from small and simple acts to larger sacrifices of our time, our means, and ourselves. We are called on to sacrifice everything, to turn our whole souls and wills over to God. President Ezra Taft Benson said: “Just as when one loses his life to God he really finds the abundant life; so also, when one sacrifices all to God, then God in return shares all that he has with him. Try as you may, you cannot put the Lord in your debt—for every time you try to do his will he simply pours out more blessings upon you. Sometimes the blessings may seem to you to be a little slow in coming; perhaps this tests your faith, but come they will and abundantly.” Although sacrifice is giving something up, whether temporally or of our will, we will only gain from it. As sacrifice and obedience become habits that are ingrained in our lives and characters, they will become more natural to us, and we will develop stronger, closer relationships with our Heavenly Father and others for whom we sacrifice. Our faith and testimony will be strengthened. Likewise, if we hold back or hearken to the world’s philosophy of minimizing the sacrifice in our lives, we will miss out on blessings, growth, and rich relationships. When I first came to Boston, I had school loans and other debt I was working to pay off. I told myself I could only do fun things like go out to dinner once in awhile. Somehow, each month, the few fun things I did added up, and my expenditures equaled the amount I was able to pay toward my bills. I had to drastically change my approach to paying off my debts. I decided I wouldn’t go out to eat or do other activities that cost money until my debts were all gone. Luckily Boston has a lot of fun free activities available throughout the year, which helped, but my friends still invited me to go to restaurants and do other things that cost money, and it was quite challenging to decline their invitations. I avoided the temptation though and chipped away at my debts, and eventually I eliminated them. Without truly sacrificing, I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish it, but in the end it gave me an incredible feeling of empowerment and triumph! As Elder M. Russell Ballard said, “Sacrifice allows us to learn something about ourselves—what we are willing to offer to the Lord through our obedience.”
I know that sacrifice brings blessings. We can still enjoy ourselves in life, but I know that as we increase our sacrifice and obedience we will gain a closer relationship with our Father in Heaven. We will gain a greater understanding of gospel principles and insight into God’s will. I hope that I and each of you will take the time to think about the sacrifices we make and those we could be making . I know that as we are willing to sacrifice more, we will be all the more blessed. President Spencer W. Kimball once outlined our duties of sacrifice and ended by saying, “And in the end, we learn it was no sacrifice at all”. I hope that we can all find joy in our sacrifices.
The Law of Sacrifice: Or Why I Can’t Just Spend the Rest of My Life in Monk-Watching, Pizza-Eating, Massage-Getting Bliss
On Memorial Day, I was visiting a ward where the speaker was talking about the sacrifices of our country’s veterans and troops as well as her own seemingly trivial sacrifices. I started thinking about how sacrifice seems to be an idea that evokes negative associations- pain, burden, loss… at first glance, it’s kind of a downer! The world around us is aimed at reducing the sacrifice in our lives- credit cards let us “buy now, pay later”, low-fat cookies let us diet without really having to eat well, and heaven forbid we have to walk more than two blocks to find a Bank of America ATM. I don’t know about you, but my immediate reaction to the idea of sacrifice is that it is something we must do and we try to love. It sounds so much easier and more pleasant to watch Monk, eat pizza, and get massages all the time! However, while the speaker on Memorial Day was elaborating on difficult and painful sacrifices, I realized that sometimes sacrifice is not such a hard thing. So often we sacrifice and we may not even realize we are doing it because fierce love for family or friends makes it easy. Sacrifice in that case is a glorious thing. There is a broad array of types of sacrifice, some more challenging than others, and, unlike tv and pizza, all are essential to our progression and salvation.
Even though some sacrifice comes naturally and easily, sacrifice often is very hard! One of the hardest types of sacrifice, in my experience, is when another person’s sacrifice becomes your own sacrifice, whether you want it or not. I’ve noticed this in my life when my mom decided to start doing foster care for a nonverbal, paraplegic boy named Humberto. He needs help 100% of the time, and since he’s nonverbal, you can’t always tell what he needs. Since I was already living on my own when she took him in, it didn’t have a big effect on me. However, overall, it’s had a huge impact on my family, and I think the biggest impact it’s had on me personally is that my mom doesn’t have much flexibility to go anywhere anytime. Even just going on a quick trip to the store means either bringing Humberto and his equipment along or asking someone to take care of him while she’s gone. It doesn’t sound like a such big deal, but it’s been very frustrating for me at times. It’s a sacrifice my mom chose for herself, but it ended up being a sacrifice my whole family had to make, whether we were still living at home or not.
So, I’ve tried to think about how we can approach sacrifice and make it more joyful, taking away the burden aspect of it. The thing about sacrifice is that it is hard- it’s supposed to be hard. If you aren’t giving something up, you aren’t sacrificing. I think love, as so many popular songs tell us, is the answer, or at least a key part of the answer. Sacrifice is not supposed to be easy, but it’s not supposed to be a burden either. It’s the difference between giving something as a gift as opposed to giving out of obligation. We can turn sacrifice from a duty into a gift of ourselves. By developing our love for others, ourselves, our Savior and our Heavenly Father, we will want to sacrifice. Elder M. Russell Ballard noted, “The degree of our love for the Lord and for our fellowman can be measured by what we are willing to sacrifice for them. Sacrifice is a demonstration of pure love.” To me, when you have love backing up your sacrifices, it makes them exciting and fun, like when you get the perfect Christmas gift for someone, and you can’t wait to see them open it.
However, even if you love someone, sacrifice can be a challenge. I believe there is value in the fake-it-til-you-make-it approach. Although sacrifice is hard, we can get better at it. The important thing is your desire; it’s sufficient to start with simply a desire to sacrifice willingly and joyfully. It’s like Alma’s discourse on faith: let the desire work in you until it gets root... If you nurture it- if you’re trying to develop the desire-, it can take hold and grow, and you’ll see the blessings of sacrifice, but if you neglect it or don’t persevere, you won’t progress and you won’t experience the blessings or gain the testimony of sacrifice. You don’t have to feel guilty if at first you struggle or begrudge trying to sacrifice. However, beware when guilt is your impetus because it makes everything a burden. With guilt as motivation, you’ll end up resenting the feeling it gives you and eventually rejecting the good things you were trying to do. The important thing is your desire; try to shape it and cultivate it so that you can learn to love the sacrifices that you choose to or have to make. Love for God, others, and ourselves lifts the burden of sacrifice and will make it a more pleasant and richer experience. Not only does love make the act of sacrificing easier, but sacrificing for someone increases your love for them, which in turn increases your desire to sacrifice for them, and both sides of it build on each other.
Sacrifice brings many blessing. My sister is coming home from her mission soon, and my mom has struggled to support her on a teacher’s salary. My mom has very much seen the blessings of sacrificing to support a missionary during the last year and a half. This upcoming year, all California teachers are getting a pay cut of about 12% no matter how long they’ve been teaching, and my mom told me she’s worried about losing those blessings of supporting a missionary and still being able to make ends meet and have everything work out temporally. However, what she didn’t realize when she said that is that those blessings don’t pend on having a missionary out; the laws of sacrifice and obedience are at work here, and the blessings of those don’t end when her missionary comes home. Obedience is a sacrifice of the will, and as my mom continues to keep the commandments, she will continue to be blessed. Watching Monk, eating pizza and getting massages all the time sounds great, but I would miss out on the blessings and growth attained through actively sacrificing. Elder Russell M. Nelson taught: “Our highest sense of sacrifice is achieved as we make ourselves more sacred or holy. This we do by our obedience to the commandments of God. Thus, the laws of obedience and sacrifice are indelibly intertwined. … As we comply with these and other commandments, something wonderful happens to us. … We become more sacred and holy—[more] like our Lord!” We can learn so much through sacrifice.
We sacrifice in many ways every day, from small and simple acts to larger sacrifices of our time, our means, and ourselves. We are called on to sacrifice everything, to turn our whole souls and wills over to God. President Ezra Taft Benson said: “Just as when one loses his life to God he really finds the abundant life; so also, when one sacrifices all to God, then God in return shares all that he has with him. Try as you may, you cannot put the Lord in your debt—for every time you try to do his will he simply pours out more blessings upon you. Sometimes the blessings may seem to you to be a little slow in coming; perhaps this tests your faith, but come they will and abundantly.” Although sacrifice is giving something up, whether temporally or of our will, we will only gain from it. As sacrifice and obedience become habits that are ingrained in our lives and characters, they will become more natural to us, and we will develop stronger, closer relationships with our Heavenly Father and others for whom we sacrifice. Our faith and testimony will be strengthened. Likewise, if we hold back or hearken to the world’s philosophy of minimizing the sacrifice in our lives, we will miss out on blessings, growth, and rich relationships. When I first came to Boston, I had school loans and other debt I was working to pay off. I told myself I could only do fun things like go out to dinner once in awhile. Somehow, each month, the few fun things I did added up, and my expenditures equaled the amount I was able to pay toward my bills. I had to drastically change my approach to paying off my debts. I decided I wouldn’t go out to eat or do other activities that cost money until my debts were all gone. Luckily Boston has a lot of fun free activities available throughout the year, which helped, but my friends still invited me to go to restaurants and do other things that cost money, and it was quite challenging to decline their invitations. I avoided the temptation though and chipped away at my debts, and eventually I eliminated them. Without truly sacrificing, I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish it, but in the end it gave me an incredible feeling of empowerment and triumph! As Elder M. Russell Ballard said, “Sacrifice allows us to learn something about ourselves—what we are willing to offer to the Lord through our obedience.”
I know that sacrifice brings blessings. We can still enjoy ourselves in life, but I know that as we increase our sacrifice and obedience we will gain a closer relationship with our Father in Heaven. We will gain a greater understanding of gospel principles and insight into God’s will. I hope that I and each of you will take the time to think about the sacrifices we make and those we could be making . I know that as we are willing to sacrifice more, we will be all the more blessed. President Spencer W. Kimball once outlined our duties of sacrifice and ended by saying, “And in the end, we learn it was no sacrifice at all”. I hope that we can all find joy in our sacrifices.
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